I went to eat at Golden Era and then after was walking around and spotted this dude, who had GW on a stick. He didn’t say anything, he just walked the streets, letting people see what he was doing.

Then I met up with Heather and Ric to see the Jonestown documentary but it was sold out. So we had a Jim Jones biscuit and headed south to Ric’s house. We spent some time in his beautiful backyard.

Heather was there too:

And then they were in the window and Ric and I started talking about how “Terminator 2: Judgment Day” is a much better script than T1. True dat. So many good one-liners in T2.

Then we watched the first half of “High Fidelity” and I was shocked at how mannish, Danish, and super deep John Cusack’s ex-gf sounded. Sweet Jesus did the casting directory screw up on that one. Just cuz she was in a Dogme ‘95 film doesn’t mean she can make the transition across the pond! But then I went home, spent some quality time with Gordon, and watched “The 40-Year-Old-Virgin” again and felt good about everything.

Frankly I’m shocked that the White House allowed Stephen Colbert to roast the hell out of them last night at the White House Correspondent’s Dinner, but oh how sweet it was. GW starts off with a smile on his face that quickly turns to a perturbed look that doesn’t seem to change for the rest of Colbert’s speech. Stephen’s performance is simply amazing, and it gives me hope that there are people like him and Jon Stewart in the world doing what they do. I’d write more about what Stephen says but it’s better just to watch it. You can download the whole segment in one big avi file here, or watch it below in 3 parts. Enjoy.

As the years go by, I’ve noticed that my enthusiasm levels have diminished. After 21 every birthday has meant little, and aside from the thought of going to heaven, there aren’t a whole lot of things that I get super excited about. I think this is partially a result of getting older and realizing that posessions don’t mean much, as well as an overly cynical world view (thank you atheism). Even when I was a kid I wasn’t that excited about birthdays, presents, bicycles, or even really Christmas presents. Sometimes I wish I could harness that untapped energy and use it for good, but sadly I think those days are long gone and I’m not sure where the enthusiasm went (or where all the cowboys have gone). Maybe that’s why I find this video so entertaining.

Phil Hendrie announced yesterday that he’d be retiring from radio on June 23rd. If you’re not familiar with Phil Hendrie, check out his wikipedia entry. The man is a comedic genius and this is a tough blow.

Here’s what he does: live on air Phil talks to a variety of outlandish “guests,” who are actually Phil in character. Phil has a phone in one hand and a microphone in front of him and will go back and forth, having a conversation with himself. He’ll spend a bit of time explaining the story, interrupting himself and employing a variety of tricks to make it sound entirely believable that the guest is real. People who aren’t in on the joke will then call in, and get into some serious arguing with the guests. Phil as host will interject intermittently, and the craziness of the call will keep increasing until Phil normally ends up hanging up in disgust on the “guest.”

Here are some of my favorite recent bits:

Chris Norton-Deep Knee Bends

Jay Santos-Weedhead Son

Justin McAlroy-One Nation Under Albus Dumbledore

After my search for Borat videos, I decided to look for some Bruno videos. Bruno is another character that Sacha Baron Cohen (aka Ali G) does for his show. Bruno is reporter for Austrian Gay TV and has some really amazing moments with people. Sadly there are only a few videos online, but I did find three of my favorites. The first one is Bruno in Daytona Beach, FL for spring break interviewing people. He comes across a team of wrestlers and has a field day with them before revealing that he’s filming for Austrian Gay TV. They act like they had no idea he was gay and get super angry. The second is Bruno interviewing a pastor who “deprograms” gay people, and Bruno asks him if he’s ever taken a walk on “the brown side.” And the third is Bruno in Alabama. The homophobia he experiences is incredible. It amazes me that Cohen has the courage to willingly put himself in some of the most uncomfortable situations possible, yet it makes for comedic gold.

As you may have heard awhile back Michelle Rodriguez and Cynthia Watros, both on TV’s “Lost,” were arrested for drunk driving in Oahu, where the show is filmed. The Smoking Gun posted the mug shots, as well as the police report around this time. The police report wasn’t all that entertaining, but the mug shots were a real eye opener to say the least. I know photos have been posted before of celebrities without their make-up, but Cynthia Watros’ mug shot took it up a notch.

Here’s what she normally looks like, or at least how she’s presented to the public:

And here she is after being arrested:

Michelle Rodriguez just looked hella stoney:

Because it was Watros’ first time getting a drunk driving rap, she got off with a fine, some hours counseling, and a 90 day suspension of her driver’s license. Rodriguez on the other hand had been previously convicted of drunk driving; and as a result the fines were harsher for her. She actually went to trial and told the judge that her behavior was influenced by steroids she had to inject to combat her allergies to “dust and cockroach resin.” Sounds like total bullshit right? Maybe just step 2 in her plan to go full butch? But then check this out, her attorney brought in a photo to show the court what she looked like pre-steroid injection:

Michelle was sentenced to 5 days in prison or 240 hours of community service. Amazingly she opted for the jail time, and today went in to begin paying back her debt to society. Stay strong Michelle.

I keep hearing from my friends in LA about how they’ve seen the Borat movie at test screenings and it’s making me insanely jealous. If you’re not familiar, Borat is a character that Sacha Baron-Cohen does on his Ali G show, and is far and away one of the most amazing characters ever to be on TV. I seriously can’t wait for the movie version. Here are some of my favorite videos of Borat.

That’s Werner shutting his own door. See if you can spot the East German in the shot.

I’m going to try to remember the highlights of the Q and A, of which there were many. As for the film, I left early. I can only handle so many montages of slow-motion astronauts while a cello accompanies a Senagalese man belting it out. Once we reached the 5 montage mark my feet hit the ground and I was adios.

Ok, probably my favorite thing Werner mentioned in the Q and A was that he had only seen 2 movies in the last couple years in the theatre. The first film he couldn’t remember, and the second one was about American college students on spring break in Mexico. Werner said it looked good, but he didn’t like it very much.

You think maybe he saw this?

Just the thought of Werner Herzog watching that makes me laugh.

Werner stated that when he makes a film it is like walking the smallest tight rope in the world and he can fall into an abyss on either side at any moment. He said that he always makes it to the other side because he is a professional.

Oh and the first thing he was asked by an audience member was if he was really shot while being interviewed (see my other post for the video of it). He replied that he was, but that it was really nothing, though if you got him laughing too hard, it might hurt a little bit.

Prior to his film work Werner parked cars at Oktoberfest. Dealing with people who were at the drunkest levels possible taught him a lot about “the human heart.”

Now if we could just get him to be the guest monologist at Assssssscat I would be a happy man. Here’s to you Werner Herzog.

As I was making my way to the elevator, a co-worker walked by me holding a copy of “A History of Violence.” He saw me and said, “Hey Brian, have you seen this movie? Soooo good.”
“Yeah I have. I liked it.”
“And what about Maria Bello?” At this point he stepped closer to me and looked around to see if anyone else was near. He leaned in and said in a hushed voice, “She looked awesome right?”
“Yeah, she was ok, but I’m not really a fan,” I said. Memories of her dimpled, gravity challenged ass versus William H. Macy’s surprisingly firm buttocks in “The Cooler” flashed through my mind.
“Oh man, really? I’d like to cut her head off and just do that body. I wonder how much she was paid to get naked?”
It was at about this point that the elevator doors began to close.
“I don’t know, probably not enough,” I said, thankful the elevator saved me from further discussion of a headless, middle-aged body.

Tonight I’m going to see a retrospective of Werner Herzog’s work, as well as a live interview onstage, and then following that they’re going to show his newest film, “The Wild Blue Yonder.” Herzog has the distinction of making one of the most enjoyable stoned movies ever, “Grizzly Man,” as well as many other classic films. The dude’s a supreme bad ass who “is afraid of nothing.” Seriously. Check out the video below where he gets shot by some crazy person with a pellet gun while being interviewed by the BBC. Dude bleeds through his purple boxers (which he reveals when he pulls down his pants to show his wound) and keeps going with the interview, simply stating that the bullet was not “significant,” and laughing the whole thing off. Totally amazing.