The Gardening
I recently saw the trailer for Zach Braff’s new film and was left shocked in my seat. The source of my surprise was that the title of the film was not “Garden State 2: The College Years,” but instead the near meaningless “The Last Kiss.” The credits also informed me that it was penned by the same scribe that gave us “Crash,” aka the most ham-handed film ever inspired by liberal, white guilt, and “Million Dollar Baby.”
At first I thought that Braff must have collaborated on the script, but he has no credit listed. Which is odd, considering the film follows Zach Braff’s 10 Easy Tips for Writing Films About Twenty-Somethings® to the letter.
Check it out:
1. The film’s central character should be an emotionally stunted, disaffected, white man in his 20s, who ponders THE BIG QUESTIONS in life, but doesn’t know where he stands.

2. Major events that inspire the pondering of life, such as a funeral or wedding, are central to the plot.


3. The perfect catalyst for change should come in the form of a small, perky, impossibly cute, dark-haired Jewess, who, for some inexplicable reason, is deeply attracted to the protagonist, despite the fact that his personality is about as exciting as a soggy peanut butter sandwich.


4. The women are always a fount of pseudo new age advice, and feel free to dispense it at will. Some helpful advice could be, “That’s life. If nothing else, it’s life. It’s real, and sometimes it fuckin’ hurts, but it’s sort of all we have.” Or “The world is moving so fast now that we start freaking out way before our parents did, because we don’t stop to breathe anymore.”


5. Kooky friends walk parallel to the protagonist.


6. The protagonist should close his eyes often and meditate on when his life wasn’t ruled by the debilitating pain of wondering how to connect with other people, or whether he should get married and have kids.


7. Sprinkle a liberal amount of shots of the protagonist looking disaffected throughout the film. Maximum disaffection can be attained by casting the eyes downward.


8. Couches are the best type of furniture to be disaffected on.


9. Fill the father role with an Academy Award nominated actor. Then there will always be at least one talented actor in the film.


10. And lastly, turning things on and off looks cool (I learned how to make animated gifs just for this).

i am impressed. geezus, well done.
How people Zach Braff ever get to make movies is beyond me. The mid-west demographic must be stopped!! I blame NYU!
nice work, i am very proud of you.
I’m totally lollerblading !!1
fucking. genius.
my favorite entry so far.
and coming from a disaffected 20 something that means a lot. for reals.
Wow. Bravo! My exact thoughts when I saw the trailer… but with clever juxtaposed images and animated gifs. Take that Zach ‘pouty face’ Braff!
(((m)))
“Couches are the best type of furniture to be disaffected on.” LMAO.
Your analysis is pure genius. I was probably the only person bored to tears while watching Garden State, waiting for the white people to stop whining, doing drugs and having pseudo orgies. But then I’m not white, nor a guy.
You are my hero. Thank you so much for writing this. L’Ultimo Bacio is one of my favorite movies, and when I found out that the king of disaffection was starring in its American remake, I nearly popped an aneurysm.
THANK YOU!! I knew it had to be a remake. I argued with one of my wannabe hipster film buff buddies about this for at least an hour. I just sat there on my couch disaffected. And oblivious to the very world around me that I am pondering.
Great job on the comparison, Mr. Palmer. Thank you!
You’re fucking awesome. That analysis was right on. Thank you.
You forgot to mention the requisite soundtrack of alternative wussy rock a la Coldplay, Snow Patrol, and Rufus Wainwright.
Otherwise, perfection!
I’m sending this to all those idiots who told me how good Garden State was.
P.S. You should branch out and do an ani of Glenn Close turning on and off the lamp in Fatal Attraction.
Oh, please… can’t you tell how different these films are?
In Garden State, his hair is down, with bangs parted to the sides, while in The Last Kiss, his hair is clearly up off his forehead.
;)
I’ve been attemting to document, in my own small way, the irksome desperation and narcissism of the Braff ouevre for some time. (How can a man be simultaneously so self-aggrandizing yet so drowsy?) But you really seem to have hit the nail on the head with this post. Well played.
This is exactly what went through my head when I saw the previews for the new one
“Is specious dreck like this the best that indie cinema can come up with nowadays, in its desperate flailing for something quirky, honest?…Garden State, with its bland and desperate humor, is symptomatic of zombification, and, as sad as it sounds, the quintessential product by and for uninspired times.”
http://www.perihelionjournal.com/reviews/GardenState.html
Did you ever see that episode of Punk’d, when they spraypainted Zach Braff’s Porsche? Man, he was pissed.
That was fuckin hilarious.
The past several weeks Kingwood and Humble area schools have been treated Air Max
to performances by Team Impact. Members of the team, which is comprised of professional atheletes
Thank you, thank you, thank god for you. This post is incredible.
The only problem is that Garden State was about not being able to connect.
This movie is about him doubting the connection he already has.
Proof that if you can play with words in witty fashion you can always forget the big picture.
This is almost as bad as when every magazine, radio station, and website thought they were funny by talking about Lance Bass being gay when he came out.
Big deal.
Try a not-so-easy topic next time, kid.
I find it interesting that you’ve gleaned all of this from a thirty second trailer, and even further interesting and slightly disturbing that you’ve taken the time to not only document these apparent parallels between two films, which is hardly an uncommon phenomenon in Hollywood, but also to teach yourself how to create animated gifs soley for the purpose of annihiliating someone’s work. I guess I can find reason enough in the title of your blog…
I think you’ve given Zach Braff far too much credit for his “10 Easy Tips for Writing Films About Twenty-Somethings”. Here in Hollywood, we call that a formula and it’s an age-old tradition impossible to attribute to a contemporary. Zach Braff didn’t invent the formula, the dollar did. I also think that you must possess some deep-seated hatred of Zach Braff due to a some sort of mild psychosis and possibly a dark childhood incident.
You should probably see the film in its entirety before passing such heavy-handed judgement. Or wait, how about this? If you don’t like Zach Braff or films about twenty-somethings and their bullshit struggles and existential crises, don’t see the fucking movie. Perhaps the greatest justice will be when you find yourself on the brink of thirty with your dick on your hand in a state of disaffection on a couch and you don’t even have the option of contemplating your future with someone you love. Here in Hollywood, the land of dreams and make-believe, it’s sunny and beautiful and I think I hear the sound of another twenty-something film being green-lit. Enjoy.
“here in Hollywood?!?!” Puhhleees…
Samantha, get over yourself. I love the lines “If you don’t like Zach Braff or films about twenty-somethings and their bullshit struggles and existential crises, don’t see the fucking movie.” It’s like she’s saying that criticism, and funny, acidic criticism at that, has no place in contemporary culture. I love self-appointed bitter chicks, something we have no shortage of “here in Hollywood”. Nice work dude. Although I dug Garden State I still have to laugh when someone uses wit and animated gifs to take the piss out of someone who’s a bit too self-important.
You….are slightly psychotic and have no obvious sense of humor. The next time that you decide to make fun of something, Samantha, you’d better take a moment and realize that there is someone out there who cares about whatever you are mocking as much as this blog was playfully making fun of an actor and two movies. Get over yourself.
Very impressive analysis. Sadly I will still see this pile of crap. They suck me in with that 30 something mumbojumbo about life. Maybe I will learn something about myself that I couldn’t learn on scrubs
[…] Zach Braff’s 10 Easy Tips for Writing Films About Twenty-Somethings®. […]
I thought Garden State was totally lame. Thank you.
Great post, spot on.
Also, if you want a hearty laugh, check out that poster “Scotty”s myspace. I don’t think I’ve ever seen a more stereotypical indie-hipster douchebag. Your evisceration of his spiritual guide must have touched a nerve.
regarding rule #3: Is this technique reliable for securing Jewesses, how do you find them (outside of Fairfax district in Hollywood) and WHY would they find this fish-lipped indie hipster adorable? Scrubs doesnt do sh*t for me, and I swear if one more 20-something contemplates life like they are 78 then I will eat my own feces. Are these Jewesses actually orgasmic at 20 something? Zach is as attractive as pickled herring at Canters (which has it’s moments)
“Last Kiss” is a remake of an italian movie.
http://www.bbc.co.uk/films/2004/02/20/the_last_kiss_2004_review.shtml
Wow. Samantha seems to have a dark childhood moment of her own in there somewhere.
BWAH! Brian Palmer, I would be reaching to scratch out your eyes since Zach Braff is my BiRacialBabyDaddy, but shite, you speak the truth. It’s the hot hot truth but it is indeed the truth.
that was just ridiculously awesome and hilarious, if you ever find more relationships like this for other movies, please do again!
Thank You. Zach Braff is a blowhard and Garden State was a terrible cliché. I thought everyone loooved that film, so it’s nice to know I’m not alone in thinking that it totally sucked!
What is the point of this analysis? Blog-supremacy. This is far from genius. Pointing out how mainstream an idea is so that you seem indie cool has been going on for a long time. What’s with everyone’s obsession with things they hate? I’ll never understand it.
When I don’t like something, I rarely go out of my way to mindfuck everyone else’s view of it.
I count Garden State as one of my favorite films of all time…
But yeah, I do see where you’re coming from. There are some similarities.
But I’ll still see it, because though it may be unoriginal doesn’t mean it’s bad.
Something tells me “Samantha” is Zach Braff (since he spends the majority of his time on the internet as stated on Jay Leno). Coupla things: 1) I saw the full version of Punk’d and Zach punched that kid in the stomach not once, but twice. Edited out. But if you notice, he does say “I won’t hit him again,” when he comes over after the edit. 2) I met Peter Sarsgaard in NYC and he was pretty up front stating that he hated the script, didn’t think Zach was a good director, and only did it for the money. He said he’d speed over his punch lines (when Zach would tell him to punch them) because he was “not a TV actor doing TV acting.” I also hated Garden State, but mostly because it pissed me off how he was encouraging going off lithium cold turkey… that by doing so and confronting your demons that you’d be happy. People that go off lithium cold turkey usually end up comitting suicide shortly after. Great moral.
i dont know if this has been said already, as i dont feel like reading the rest of the comments, but this film is actually a remake of the italian film “l’ultimo bacio” which was actually quite a good movie. although they have changed quite a bit and i think some of the most important parts were lost in translation/interpretation. but i’m just going on what zach has said about the movie, as i’ve not seen it yet. l’ultimo bacio is worth checking out though.
Ha ha. Congrats on the link.
Funny shit.
You made me start to hate Zach Braff.
i enjoyed Garden State. Its one of my favourite movies. I also really want to The Last Kiss. Like someone has previously said, if you dont like Zach Braff, then dont watch any of his stuff. nuff said
Couldn’t be more accurate. The Crash jab killed me.
Get over it, people. Zach Braff is young, successful, iand lots of women think he’s HOT! Garden State was better than a lot of the pretentious indie crap that comes out. I think most of you are just jealous.
savvy indeed! very cool… i’m still laughing cos someone said lollerblading… so funny!!!
Also, compare Garden State and THE GRADUATE! Braff is not creative in the slightest, geez he even used Simon and Garfunkel. What a hack!
tm, I used to agree with your point of view, but let’s face it: ZIB’s officially old and tired now. He admits Woody Allen’s his idol, because it wasn’t obvious enough - and ripping him off then remixing the format - isn’t big or clever
*Stands up to applaude Brain Palmer.* Dude, that was a bang on accurate list. Big love from London UK.
Pretty clever; but it makes me even more excited to see the film…I loved Garden State and Zach. I’m not crazy about this movie title, however. It should have been something else. The film will do well regardless—-everyone I know is excited to see it.
if it weren’t a re-make, i might be inclined to agree.
i think elizabethtown did a lot more ripping off of garden state then anything else so far.
but i guess, i’ll have to see the movie, and not just analyze the trailer.
Funny stuff! Let’s remember people, this is supposed to be fun, why are people being all serious?
>I think most of you are just jealous.
YES! That must be why i enjoyed this post so much. Now please let me know what I’m jealous of, exactly?
You don’t need Braff to tell you life is tough…every generation has something to whine about…watch “The Big Chill” and laugh at all the characters self-evaluation…count your blessings and get fucked up with your friends!
What movie would make these ZB haters get their ass off their cloud of judgment…
Everything about Garden State that is being decried here is precisely what makes people want to see a movie.
I really am curious…
Damn. I wish I was a petite Jewess, and not the 5 10″ non-jewess that I am.
/ I’m looking forward to the movie, and do find Mr. Braff quite desirable, though I do find the review above amusing.
I think this post is hilarious but to the guy who said Braff ripped off The Graduate — I’m relatively sure he’s not THAT stupid, and the use of Simon & Garfunkel was a deliberate homage.
best quote from the comment section:
“I swear if one more 20-something contemplates life like they are 78 then I will eat my own feces”
Truethat.
Oh my, Samantha. Such offense you take! From “Hollywood,” no less.
Your reasoning is brilliant.
If one’s skin crawls at the thought of ‘Garden State,” then “you must possess some deep-seated hatred of Zach Braff due to a some sort of mild psychosis and possibly a dark childhood incident.”
As much as I’m certain Braff googles all hios negative publicity, he’s not going to find this page, then track you down and fuck you for all your fine support, Samantha.
Kudos. An excellent analysis.
I like scrubs
Damn! i really liked Garden State..scrubs..and zach braff. Now I feel like a 20 something loser myself!
your post was spot on though
.. wtg.. loved it!
There would be no Garden State without Cameron Crowe.
Hipster loser + impossibly cool girl + soundtrack = Cameron Crowe movie magic.
I liked Garden State–b/c I like Cameron Crowe movies–but I really expected him to say “You had me at ‘kick his balls’” when he comes back for her at the end.
Right on point. I too noticed most of this and pointed it out in the following post:
http://www.trashingtrailers.com/?p=38
Funny stuff, but not particularly on target. There are definite similarities (the most obvious being the soundtracks, since Zach did them both, but then, I like The Shins and Snow Patrol), and The Last Kiss does feel a little like a sequal in that it’s a coming-of-age movie for 30-year-olds (who maybe should have come of age a little sooner, but then again, isn’t that a pretty acurate reflection of reality?). In The Last Kiss, you like Braff’s character, but no one is asking you to feel sorry for him. It may be whiny white guy feeling sorry for himself, but the film isn’t prodding you to feel for him the same way Garden State did. This time, Braff makes stupid decisions and has to face the consequences.
The points you make are funny and some are very true if aprapos of nothing. Tom Wilkenson, who is excellent as always, plays the girlfriend’s father, by the way, not Braff’s. I liked The Last Kiss more than I thought I would. Garden State felt like a bigger event than this one, but The Last Kiss is still a good film.
right the fuck on.
i liked garden state, but seeing the trailer for the last kiss cheapened everything for me. depressing.
Get a fucking life.
I liked Garden State. But the trailer for Last Kiss makes the movie look like crap… I especially agree with your assessment of Crash. That is definitely spot on!
WTF, it takes an asshole that can’t make movies to make fun of movies as good as these. Just cause your all emo don’t mean you have to screw up everything for everyone else
You’ve cracked The Zach Braff Code. Get me Dan Brown on the line.
heey! let’s mark this down under who gives a shit!
so true… I would just add 1(b): all characters in film will ignore the fact that dissaffected supposedly 20-year-old actually looks about 35 and way too old to be this obsessed with himself.
I saw THE LAST KISS at a screening in Sherman Oaks and it is Amazing!!! You leave the theatre feeling so exhausted. It also sparked a huge discussion with my friends which is always a sign of a good film.
that is hilarious.
I think for the most part, the comments here are idiotic. Genius? Amzing analysis? He doesn’t like Zach Braff, he’s not a genius! This is the kind of shit people talk about when they are drinking (coffee or booze) and just want something to whine or argue about.
I’ll be the first to admit that this was funny to me, even though I really like Zach Braff’s work. It was even well thought out. I give credit to any writer for a well-thought-out essay, even if I completely disagree with the topic. Kudos to Brian.
Comment writers: ugh. Comments like, “that is hilarious”, and, “Get a fucking life” are pointless. You have nothing of value to say. Sure, you have emotion, and that’s a lot, but there is no substance here; no reasoning or logic. Saying that is just like voting on something; you click ‘Agree’ or ‘Disagree’. Comments should have more to them than that.
Brian: nice. Despite the fact that I think you’re full of crap here, you are still a clever guy, and that gets you aces in my book. Cheers.
I have loved Garden state, despite all the faults that you correctly points out but why does nobody say that the script of the last kiss is A REMAKE of the italian movie “l’ultimo bacio” (2001) meaning infact the last kiss?
i’m sorry somebody actually said this
OMG! Shit, now I have to find a new formula….
I liked Garden State. But probably because I’m hooked on Coldplay and Frou Frou. But I mostly listen to Eminem and Kanye West.
It was fun watching Zach being totally cold turkey and not feeling anything. Geez, his mother dies and he doesn’t even cry. He must have been trying to portray emo kids or twentysomething emos out there. I suspect he also watches Drawn Together and likes Toot character.
Anyway, a very good posting indeed. But if you came to those conclusions after just watching the trailer then kudos to you.
Nice one.They both have so much in common.Oh,yeah,you fogot to add”do something crazy or unique to truly find yourself and be original like, doing a weird action in some girls bedroom or yelling out loud at yourself in your car”
he didn’t direct Last Kiss however right?
Zach just watches too many Charlie Kaufman movies…
Very good. The funniest assessment I’ve read since I saw a short film by the critic Elvis Mitchell titled “How to Make Your Own Oliver Stone Movie In 7 Easy Steps.”
I haven’t seen Garden State but I admit I like Scrubs. There those are my Braff credentials. Anyway, I just felt like pointing out the idiocy of writing a blog comparing the similiraties between two movies and berating the person whom you believe to have been a contributor to the screenplay for the movie for said similarities.
If you berate someone for having written something so similar to something else they already wrote, make sure you do your research first and find out if he really wrote it in the first place. THIS IS A REMAKE OF AN ITALIAN MOVIE which in turn plays on very old and familiar themes. The asshole from Crash adn Million Dollar Baby (which was highly amusing to me btw) just Americanized it.
oh and I didn’t include my email because this is all I have to say on the matter and don’t really care what you have to say after having seen your sad display of intelligence in your blog. I just happened to have gotten here on accident.
Hey, this is pretty funny…but to be honest, you could do this with almost any actor…but the thing that surprised me is how Braff’s head has gone so beefy…if his head were made of veal, which I know it is not, but if it were, it would be $15 a pound.
Wow. He’s written an entire ONE film that’s been released. And you’ve seen a trailer for the next one—that he didn’t even write!
Yep. That’s enough source material for a lengthy post like this.
Let’s go back to ALL screenwriter’s first efforts and make stupid lists like this. Like we could make the Charlie Kaufman guide to writing movies based on “Being John Malkovich” and that alone and determine that you must always have a barely-recognizable John Cusack and people finding a tunnel into John Malkovich’s mind. I’m sure that’s in all of his films! Or we can go back to Night Shamalyn post-”Sixth Sense” and say that, to write films like him you always need a creepy little kid and a dead protagonist.
Of course, you’d look like an idiot once “Adaptation.” or “Unbreakable” came out but. . .well, hey. You already do.
In some of the interviews Zach Braff said he did collaborate with Paul Haggis. He also rewrote a lot of the dialogue and compiled the soundtrack.
“Still, with The Last Kiss, Braff did tweak some of the dialogue in the script, adapted by Canadian Paul Haggis (Million Dollar Baby, Crash) from the hugely popular Italian movie L’Ultimo Bacio
“I felt like I could really relate to this character and these guys so I asked (Tony) if I could do a little tinkering and make it a little more how me and my friends speak in terms of some of the banter,” Braff said. “And also we found a couple of places to add a couple of more jokes. ”
http://jam.canoe.ca/Movies/Artists/B/Braff_Zach/2006/09/10/1821959.html
Fantastic! Really, a top-notch analysis. Now let’s see your ingenious original script. You are excellent as dissecting and commenting on others’, now I’d like to see your interpretation of what an original script should be–of course you are not allowed to incorporate elements that have ever been used in another film—that’s right, ever! Let’s see whatcha got!
i consider most nationwide, tv promoted movies to be indie too. thanks for agreeing with me.
His hair has improved from movie 1 to movie 2. That is the deepest observation this perky blond protestant could muster for Braff.
Hilarious, even for a Zach Braff fan.
What have any of you done that allows you to speak so negatively of the work that others produce? This is what’s wrong with the world today. Pretentious, self righteous ass-clowns the whole lot of you. I want to see anyone of you do something half as good as these two films, problem is you can’t. All you’re capable of doing is pointing out the short comings of others, in a sad attempt at making your own miserable existences that less pathetic. If you’re such a genius then show us, create a film that people can connect with, that’ll touch the minds and souls of millions. Until you accomplish that, I don’t think you or any of your ego stroking cock swallowers should talk.
It’s funny because it’s true. I hope Hollywood has finally bashed this formula into the ground and will move on next year.
With this in mind, that DVD got me laid multiple times so I can’t complain.
That was perfect.
This blog entry, with all its comments, pretty much epidomizes irony. Is anyone else as amused as I am by it? Slightly threatening that there are so many of us out there. I am so not original. Damnit.
We’ve got to find something better to do people. Thankfully I prefer movies that don’t cater specifically to me, otherwise I might start taking this shit too seriously…
PEOPLE, Zach Braff didn’t even fuckin direct The Last Kiss…..jesus tittyfucking christ this whole comparison, while interesting, MEANS NOTHING
Didn’t see the movie, but now I am sure I wont have to. That’s life and it is moving so fast that I don’t have time to worry about someone elses problems kinda flick. Hippie movie. Nice work.
It is funny, but you’re kind of a dick.
Brilliant. So glad you all agree! Natalie and Zach totally ruined Garden State with their horrible posing, I mean, acting. Maybe Rachel will redeem this film? She’ll have to, since he sure can’t. Bring the young Dustin Hoffman back… better looking and a better actor to boot. The Graduate Redux. Can’t anyone have an original idea in H’ywood?
Very funny similarities, bravo with the screencaps.
And I’m a huge Zach Braff fan, so that’s saying something.
But he didn’t write it! So the title doesn’t make much sense.
Ah that’s amusingly pathetic. Nice to see someone with no talent belittle people that clearly do. I seem to remember Garden State being a huge critical hit, winning numerous film festival awards, and being the second best film to come out in 2004.
Also, perhaps our critic here might be obliged to see The Last Kiss, before making the assumption it’s a Garden State clone. Obviously the marketing will play on Graden State’s success in order to make it a few extra bucks. So next time, maybe think before you spend all that time making animated GIF’s. Pretty sad.
Ha ha burn. I went to school with the guy and watched him cruise through on some sort of fame that I didn’t understand at the time (I learned later he had been on broadway). He made a really dull, derivative student film (Flowers for Algernon meets THX1138?) that everyone raved about because of his pre-existing rep and its relative production value (he sold his car to fund it). I didn’t get it then and I don’t it now.
So it’s safe to assume you’re not a Zach Braff fan, eh?
I find Srubs mildly entertaining, and do enjoy Braff whenever he’s in something, but have yet to see Garden State or this new one.
Formulaic moviemaking is nothing new. Teen/20s angst films started out in the 80s with Breakfast Club and 16 Candles, and will continue to be made for the foreseeable future, as long as the teens/20 yos that the films are aimed at keep paying out their dollars to watch them.
hey.
this was funny. but i can see all the pr ppl jumping to zacks defence, saying things like - u havent seen the trailer etc….relax!
this blog has probably given the film more attention that its even deserved or could even muster alone so stop defending him like hes a big baby that needs protection.
and yknow, the blogger is entitled to an opinion, cos the only difference between his creativeness and yours is that yours is backed by millions of dollars.
so relax. and maybe some good will come of this.
Haha…
Haven’t seen garden state, and I do like scrubs, but yeah, the whole “contemplative 20 year old” thing is pretty grating…
Hell, I’ve done it, sat on the couch thinking about life, then I realised wtf I was doing, whistled in a nonchalant way, grabbed a beer and turned on my playstation…
Life’s too short to be tragically damaged…
OH CRAP I JUST DID IT AGAIN!
*Eyes fall to the floor wistfully*
Wait a minute! I just figured it out! Zach Braff got his directing style from Tony Goldwyn!
I just realized you have to be able to drive a car to comment on people’s bad driving. Also, you need to be able to paint a picture before you can critique art. You know? I can’t even call Hilliary Duff’s singing career predictable, shallow, bubble-gum pop because I have never made a chart topping hit. Oh wait.
Anybody who says the words “pretentious indie shit” knows nothing about movies. What the hell does that mean? Garden State was a piece of flaming garbage. The script was a disaster. The “Shins headphones” scene is one of the most laughable detours in cinematic history. This movie will age terribly. Nobody will remember it.
What is good then in this angstful young man genre? Andrew Bujalski is good. So is Noah Baumbach and Charles Kaufman. These people make interesting and original “20-something generational” films. Garden State could have been good, but it fell on so many cliches that only fourteen year olds (who think that Allen Ginsberg and Charles Bukowski are the apotheoses of poets or whatever) would find it brilliant. And there’s nothing wrong with that. Just don’t sit at the grownups table until you’ve learned a little bit about life and what’s actually out there.
If you want to watch a movie about thwentysomethings then I suggest you get yourself ‘Requiem for a dream’. Now that’s a movie. It has all the harsh realities of life. Not particularly about a twentysomething guy but still. It kicks Garden State’s ass.
I thought ‘Garden State’ was a powerful and effective film. I did not enjoy it much, from a personal point of view. Look at the number of posts here, Braff’s film has generated, a lot of response and criticisms. It may not have entertained, but it has done something. I’m not in a postion to comment on the effect but the scale thereof is clear to see.
rusty
One flaw in your theory is that “The Last Kiss” is not at all like “Garden State”. The trailer has the same vibe because it sells the product different from what it really is. Where “Garden State” was more a rom-com, “The Last Kiss” is a relationship drama with Braff’s only being one of 5 relationships in trouble. Whoever expects Garden State 2 of it will be disappointed
So, when are you going to put out a filem, eh? Sounds like you are itching to do something different, let’s see. Oh wait. I’m sure you have a zillion excuses as to why you can’t. Nevermind.
To all the haters, relax (especially you Samantha, geez). It was a funny blog post. Period. You can even like Zach Braff and Garden State and still think this was amusing. Life is too short to get your knickers in a twist over one post.
didn’t mention this is a remake? ohh forgot to mention…
you know you could probably take any two movies ever made and make the same, lame comparisons you made…
blog was lacking everywhere, deplorable observations.
nice try though
back to your cyber layer for more diet fanta and a box of double stuffed oreos!
OK GUYS I TAKE IT BACK. GARDEN STATE IS A MASTERP33CE ON THE SAME LEVEL AS I
Wow, why is everyone so angry? It is a funny little treatise, and the pictures are cute. Why are people acting like Brian just denied the Holocaust?
honestly, I thought this was hilarious, and I am a huge fan of Garden State, Scrubs, and am looking forward to The Last Kiss. I think Braff is talented, not a genius, but we will see where his career goes.
The list has some truth, and it basically showed a few things that both the lovers and haters of his work must see, and it is that hint of truth that makes it funny . But really, all actors, especially those without a ton of experience, do this in their career. Maybe Braff will be another Cusack, playing similar roles and being oddly lovable forever… Maybe he will develop his trade and in a few more years turn out to be a phenominal actor with mind blowing range. Honestly, I dont care nwhich way he goes, because we need them both.
What entertains me are how angry people are getting on both sides. It’s a movie. Watch it or dont. Love it or think its trash. But seriously… cursing and insulting someone else over a movie? . . . Maybe it isnt so bad that films are coming out encouraging younger people to contemplate their lives…
btw, best comment ever:
“There would be no Garden State without Cameron Crowe.”
[…] In addition to Samantha’s great comments, about every third person felt the need to point out that Zach Braff did not write the film (he actually did write some of it), that it was a remake (I can read by the way, and did so during the credits), or some derivation on the theme that I was “jelous” of Braff (The Shins never changed my life). […]
I can’t say I agree altogether. But I do see the similarities, especially with the lead female role.
It’s true both films deal with the protagonist going through similiar personal/emotional journeys in their mid or late 20s. But thematically, I think the films are actually different. Garden State was largely about salvaging the good things yourself and being kind of revived. [And so on.] Whereas The Last Kiss is more about making choices at a certain point in one’s life and coming to terms with being responsible for those decisions, maturing.
But yeah, they both definitely seem comparable on several levels.
Its a remake, you idiot.
Haha thats fantastic, good job mate.
How many films have you made fuck nut?
Oh dear Lord that’s going to give me an epileptic seizure!
I’ve never seen this film, but somehow now I feel like I have. Magical.
*runs off to be disaffected, yet comfortable.
Watch our Zach Braff parody:
http://youtube.com/watch?v=YwM–gcgRhE
…or if it doesn’t work just go to YouTube and search for: A Journey Called…Life?
spot on! anyone defending these two movies and braff probably watch that show Weeds.
I want to meet this Samantha chick. She sounds like the worst person in the world. I bet she’s an assistant to the douchebag director or producer of Garden State 2 or whatever it’s called.
So basically what you’re saying is that M. Night and Braff should get together to create scintillating scripts together.
I totally agree. That would be CHOICE.
“The Last Kiss”
First off, you should know that this story of an almost-30 guy (Zach Braff) who isn’t sure he wants to marry pregnant girlfriend Jacinda Barrett is not a comedy. The commercials may make it seem that way, but it’s not. It’s also unfortunately not very good with none of the charm or depth of the Italian original.
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/14836258/
[…] I already got the soundtrack and I love it! So, you can also imagine my horror when I saw all of the negative comments about it online The worst part is, I’ve resigned myself to admit that most of it is true. Oh, the pain of it all! But, this list is heartbreakingly true, yet amazingly funny and a must read!Zach Braff’s 10 Easy Tips for Writing Films About Twenty-Somethings® […]
Nice comparison. I loved Garden State, and I love Scrubs. I want to see Last Kiss. I mean come on, we can make jokes about how stupid every type of movie is, because all of them represent ONE aspect of the human experience. If it’s an action movie, it’s “mindless”, if it’s an intellectual movie, it’s “pompous”, if it’s a comedy, it’s “moronic”, and if it’s an emotional movie, it’s “whiny”. Basically it’s just people complaining about things they don’t like about themselves and attaching it to a movie so they don’t have to take the blame.
The list did make me chuckle, though. The films do look -really- similar.
And Paul Haggis -IS- a good writer.
Blah, he’s not that hot.
Great post! Nothing against Braff, but I didn’t and won’t see either picture because I suspected what you cleverly pointed out. Plus, I despise indie-rock and these type of movies seem like it’s cinematic equivalent.
My girlfriend saw The Last Kiss today… she said the movie overall was good, but the ending was SUPER-RETARDED.
I don’t understand this guy’s appeal, sure, the love interests are paid to work in the movie, but why in the world are people casting him as a leading man? Pretty soon, we’re going to have Jon Heder, Jay Baruchel, and Zach Braff as the leads for every movie. I realize now how much we take Ben Stiller, Owen Wilson, and Vince Vaughn for granted. Zach Braff seems to be getting better at posing and that’s sure to make studio execs happy. This movie just pigeonholes Braff as the quirky yet lovable protagonist even more then Garden State did and that nearly sealed his fate.
Yeah, that’s pretty much dead on. A friend showed me this entry after I complained about how everyone loved Garden State and I thought it was awful awful awful. To each their own.
Hey did you ever notice how in every Keanu Reeves movie he says “Whoa?” Or how about how every single “Governator” movie Arnold has a tag line, which is usually dispensed when killing someone. This one’s my favorite; How about how every Samuel L. “mothafuckin’ ” Jackson movie features him dropping a prerequisite 76 F-bombs? Actors are a lot like computers; they run the program given to them. The reason people rush to see the new Brad Pitt movie is because they know they’ll get at least one good shot of his abs. The actors playing in the movies are typecast because that’s what we associate them with. Now I know Braff wrote Garden State, but why would he write himself a part that he wouldn’t be good at. We have all witnessed the disgrace of an actor playing a part out of their role [Kindergarten Cop (featuring Ahhhnold,) Road to Perdition (Because no one can play a 1930’s gangster quite like Forrest Gump,) Punch Drunk Love (I love Sandler but this was shit,) and The Boy from Oz (Come on ‘Wolverine’ playing a singing, dancing, fruity booty, ‘Queer Eye for the Straight Guy’ gay?!) The point that I am so eloquently trying to get at is that is that all the stories are all the same. The only difference that someone can hope to make is placing a slightly different tall, dark, and handsome man in the lead. But you know you could just Tarintino the thing and play the same story that everyone already knows, just out of order. Truly ground breaking. The single thing that has always stuck with me came from Mary Shelley’s Frankenstein (the book, not one of the 264 movies made about it.) The young Doctor Frankenstein is at a lecture and the professor says something to the effect of “Never once dare to think that you have had an original thought!” Of course, Mary Shelley probably just ripped that off from Shakespeare or a public bathroom stall… Doesn’t matter I guess, because people are still going to flock to see this movie (which I have seen and was surprised at how good it actually was) the sound track will go platinum, and Braff will be back real soon. At least he’s got some acting skills. Hell, he can’t be worse than Mr. Snakes on a Plane.
you, big jerk!!!!
Great post this. I like garden state, i liked the soundtrack- well simon and garfunkel, nick drake, thievery corporation. I liked the shots, the central composition- totally unrealistic, the colours- very well placed colours and light. I thought natalie portman was cute and peter sarsgaard was excellent. I still thought it was formulaic and schmaltzy, if ya know what I mean. The whole wussiness of it kinda got to me at times and i think you’ve captured exactly what was wrong with it. I’m sure Last Kiss will suck too.
Its all about ennui- the despondency of young adults, a psycological/ sociological subject heavily discussed in 19th century France. That means it has been permeating the arts for around 150 years or so, possibly more. These movies are the same thing, its old hat. I’ll watch this Last Kiss movie too, i love movies, and whatever other ones come out, and then i’ll come back here to see you rip the piss out of them again in your equally unoriginal but glaringly funny and witty way. Fair play sir, excellent work.
Well, I thought the movie was okay, not great buy okay. However it is nice to see such a creative take on the whole situation. I did like Garden State though and although it might seem cliche in places, I thought there was a lot that was novel about it. Also, as far as I know, there was not any CGI which is another plus for the movie.
I dont understand what all of you have against Zach Braff, I think he’s a good actor, film maker, etc. I’d like to see any one of you make a film. If Braff sucks so bad, why is he paid so well to do what he does? Seems to be doing just fine if you ask me.
Hitler was popular too, but that doesn’t make him right. I really hate it when people say someone is validated by popularity or by being paid to do something. See Carlos Mencia for more proof that the public can be wrong.
Also, you seem to be saying that it’s not alright to criticize someone until you’ve made a film, but conversely it’s ok to praise them if you haven’t? Not every movie reviewer is a filmmaker, although you really should watch “Beyond the Valley of the Dolls.” Art is made to be criticized. That’s how it’s been forever. You don’t have to be an artist to have an opinion on art.
And, I think, though it may seem Zach’s got to wear shades because his future’s so bright, the general public is tiring of his schtick. “The Last Kiss” opened at number 5, slid to 12, is currently languishing at 14, and will no doubt make an unceremonious exit from the theatres very soon.
you can make comparisons like that between movies of any genre, stop being so critical
i love zach braff films, they move me and i know they do the same for millions of others who arent too busy making fun of them. your entry is pretty funny but i just had to say something on behalf of those who do enjoy watching these types of movies.
name a hollywood movie that doesnt follow a formula? or one that’s not intended to make you feel a certain way? i think his films serve their purpose, accept them for what they are.
I love that you tell me to stop being so critical and then criticize my post.
Should I accept his films for what I think they are (unmitigated shit) or what you think they are?
Since you told me to stop doing something, I’m going to follow suit for you: stop trying to impose your beliefs on others.
;_; now I have no reason to watch this movie… /wrist
Great post. The movie was an exercise in EXTREME mediocrity, which equals horrible in its own way. It felt like I was watching a new prime-time made-for-tv movie, but with wonderful, completely unnecessary, gratuitous nudity (the best kind - almost made the movie watchable). The comparisons to Garden State are very easy to make with this movie and very distractingly obvious while watching. The girl with brown hair is cuter than Natalie Portman and I didn’t want to repeatedly punch her about the face and neck like I do whenever I see Ms. Portman make a stab at the acting profession. Poor thing. She’ll find her niche as I hope these filmmakers do as well. Oh, btw, didn’t most people feel that (non-Cronenberg) Crash is just a pile of poo (rasicm is bad! wow, really?!)? Bad marketing move.
my friend told me about this, it’s pretty funny, last fall i wrote something similar. i’ll post it here:
ZACH BRAFF’S RULES ON MAKING AN INDIE FILM
1. Think of one indie song, now use amazon’s recommend feature to get 12 more. there’s your soundtrack.
2. You’re gonna want to make out with someone hot (as you will be starring in this) so pick some ladies and figure out who is almost but not quite as deep as you.
3. If you haven’t done a drug, it’s ok, you can still use it to make yourself look deep/sad. Special effects will make us feel like we’ve taken it.
4. Get a great DP and have him get lots of cool shots. It’s ok if they’re only for one line gags, this will primarily serve for your killer trailer. see next rule.
5. show your film’s preview in front of other sucessful indie movies to create hype, and then get some kind of mtv deal cause you’re a famous TV star.
6. write about depression cause it’s always edgy.
7. subtext schmubtext (i mean there’s no subtext necessary).
8. present reality however you choose, your quiet stares make you reliable.
9. if you make a lot of characters who are only one dimensional then your lead will look like an octagon.
10. happy endings are the way to go, cause let’s face it, everyone can relate to that.
11. a dog humping your leg is never not funny.
12. you might be a tv star, but that’s ok. it’s independent if you’re independently wealthy.
13. keep on exploring the infinite abyss of your abyss of your creativity.
Not to beat a dead horse or nothing - but you missed another important similarity between the two movies, one not made apparent in the preview- in both movies, the father is a mental health professional, and the mother is crazy and/or deceased.
Zach Braff’s 10 Easy Tips for Filmwriting…
Zach Braffs 10 Easy Tips for Writing Films About Twenty-Somethings®: 3. The perfect catalyst for change should come in the form of a small, perky, impossibly cute, dark-haired Jewess, who, for some inexplicable reason, is deeply attracted to the pro…
Give the person who made this an award. Life is hard, true, but Zach Braff’s movies make it even harder.
I have to be at work in 15 minutes.
[…] THE LAST KISS - aka GARDEN STATE: PART II. In this one, Zack Braff breaks his own record for “Most Pretentious Whining in a Span of Two Hours.” […]
I do find it interesting that people can bash a movie without having seen it. Personally I loved Garden State. It seems people either really love this movie or really hate it. I wonder why there is such a dichotomy. I guess you either get it or you don’t. Perhaps people didn’t think he was sincere. But I think he was. It is true you do not have to make movies to have an opinion about them. However, most of the people on here have meaningless comments like “I hate Gardenstate or Zach Braff.” without saying why, or they think the way the movie was made was formulaic. Well let’s just say that it does follow a “Formula” There are screen writign conventions that everyone follows when writing a script in order to convey a message or tell a story. People don’t just randomly put words on a page. If they did you’d criticize it as being arbitrary. All good writing is based on some level of organization and may fall into a formula. This fact by itself does not make the movie bad.
Why can’t anyone just admit thatr your own personal biases dictate your opinion on how “well” the movie was made. Simplky say “I don’t care for “that kind of movie” or his “style” Your opinion does not make it bad, and it wouldn’t have won awards if it was really a bad movie. I’ve seen bad movies. Garden State is not one of them. Now if you personally could not relate to Zach or rather his character Andrew Largeman, this simply indicates YOU cannot relate period. Personally I think many do, and this is why the film is loved. So when you say the public is “Wrong” you have to provide a reason why so many people are wrong and you somehow are right. As an actor, who has acted for about 10 years, I can say he did a good job creating a believable character who did not need to overact in order to convey a depressed and conflicted demeanor. The point is that throughtout the whole movie Zach is NOT whiny. He never once complains until the very end when he confronts his dad. And he had every reason to be pissed. Good acting is often about expressing emotions implicitly. If you don’t like people learning to experience life again, which is what the movie is about, and which I think most of you for all your criticism, seem to miss, then see something truly deep, like “Independence Day.” If you can’t tell the difference between Hollywood blockbusters and well written material then it is your problem. And even if it is not “independent” it has the feel of an independent film which when you are watching it, is all that matters.
First of all Rob, thanks for writing a bit more than “How many films have you made fuck nut?” I appreciate you taking the time to write a thoughtful response.
I never claimed to have watched “The Last Kiss” and state clearly in this post that I am going off of the trailer. This post was written for comedic purposes and a lot of people took it way more seriously than I ever intended it.
That said, I disagree with quite a few of your arguments. Just because a film won an award doesn’t make it a good film. I found “Crash” to be one of the most pedantic, overly reaching, preachy films to be put on celluloid and yet it won best picture. But because not everyone agrees with me, such as Roger Ebert, does that really mean that I did not get it? Could it be that I did understand what they were trying for, but, like Scott Foundas and a ton of other critics, thought they failed on every count?
I don’t think it’s possible to say that just because someone cannot relate to a character that they “cannot relate period.” Sweeping generalizations like that never hold true.
Also, what’s with getting all snippy at the end there? Is it possible that I do “like people learning to experience life again” but don’t like “Garden State”? Or can you only have it one way? Is “Garden State” the only example of people learning to experience life again? Because I thought “The Station Agent” and “Ordinary People” did a far superior job of expressing just that.
I like your straw man argument at the end too. I never once said anything about Hollywood blockbusters or “Independence Day,” yet somehow, according to you, my problem is that I can’t tell the difference between them and “well written material.” I think “my problem” is that I don’t agree with your assessment of Zach Braff and his film.
Although it’s a risk here to admit that I am a Braff fan (come on…scrubs is hilarious! The show is fun and Braff is a pretty good physical comedian). Maybe Garden State wasn’t the best movie of all time, but you have to admire the accomplishment. I mean he created something on his own, set out to do it and was met with some success. I think that’s pretty cool. The big question for me is WHY anyone decided to remake The Last Kiss as the Italian original was great. Fan or no fan, I did get a chuckle from Palmer’s comparison…but I just don’t understand why people (many people) come down so hard of Braff. Apart from his ridiculous reaction on the ridiculous Punk’d (and I am just to see the version where he actually hits the kid) I don’t get the vibe that he’s overly self-righteous, I mean no more so than anyone else caught up in the Hollywood racket. I think you have to be a little bananas to put yourself out there int he first place, but it will be interesting to see if he’s still around in 20 years or so.
I googled this subject after watching “The Last Kiss” and I think it would be more appropriately titled “The Last Chance… I give Zach Braff” Garden State was cool shots and that’s about it. I’m glad to see there are others out there for my support…
this is the best blog i’ve ever read.
[…] Great blog entry giving you the 10 steps to making a zack braff film. Apparently its that easy - and visually this guy did a great job. [via NOTCOT]read more | digg story […]
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[…] Great blog entry giving you the 10 steps to making a zack braff film. Apparently its that easy - and visually this guy did a great job. [via NOTCOT]read more | digg story […]
zack braff did not have any part in writing or directing “The Last Kiss”, so if both movies are the same–which after wathcing both i do not believe they are– it is not zack’s fault (although he did have part in one shot at the end and one song). Now saying that zack’s acting is somewhat similar in these two movies is something that you see in many great actors, because actors have certain roles in which they excel at, which may be why zack was picked for this role.
On a side note i am not saying anyone who says braff is a bad writer/director/actor is wrong, everyone has their own opinions, i just wanted to state that these movies being similar has nothing to do with zack.
shut up samantha
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i know what everyones problem with Braff films are!
It’s that you all just see him as JD and compare other efforts to that, and thats his fault for doing the show for 8 years!
But really, i would sooo rather watch him as JD, than as that boring Michael in The Last Kiss.
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I love this. It almost makes me feel like a retard for always enjoying Garden State so much. Just watch Zach Braff on Punk’d or Scrubs to completely hate him. Or that scene with his hand on his father’s stomach in Garden State. That was too creepy.
[…] Zach Braff’s 10 Easy Tips for Writing Films About Twenty-Somethings® […]
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At first I thought that Braff must have collaborated on the script, but he has no credit listed. Which is odd, considering the film follows Zach Braff’s 10 Easy Tips for Writing Films About Twenty-Somethings® to the letter.
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