Amy Sedaris: Though she’s nearly two decades my senior, has the kind of burnished brown skin most favored by sorority sisters, and is unquestionably a bit crazy, I would gladly play the Benjamin to her Mrs. Robinson. Because, despite the detractors, she’s also a total babe, the creator and star of one of the best television shows ever, sister of my favorite author, and, judging by her new book, one hell of an entertainer. I could easily see spending a relaxing evening with her, chief big bong, and some of her interesting and famous friends, such as Justin Theroux or Philip Seymour Hoffman. We’d laugh well into the night after gorging ourselves on her great cooking, and later, after Phil and Jus had begged their leave, things would get seriously freaky. Here’s to you Ms. Sedaris.
Joanna Newsom: The first time I saw Joanna Newsom I couldn’t stop laughing. This was long before she graced any magazine covers, Dave Eggers had yet to hype her up in Spin, and every writer at Pitchfork was years away from attempting arcane ways of saying she’s a genius. She was simply the opening act for The High Llamas. Joanna set up her harp, and then started playing those beautiful chords, and that small strange voice that so polarizes people began to fill the air. She made the craziest faces while she sang, which, to my dismay, she has since stopped almost altogether, and put on one of the most intense, strange performances I had ever seen. Later I saw her open again, this time for Sufjan Stevens, and while I still found her set amusing, her songs got seriously stuck in my head. Since that time I’ve become a full-fledged convert, and have seen her live on multiple occasions. In addition to her impressive talent, elfin beauty, and extreme eloquence, Joanna also possesses a surprisingly ample posterior. (In case you’re wondering, yes, I did just post a link to a photo of Joanna’s ass.) While I was more than a little nonplussed with her most recent album, Joanna still remains firmly at the front of my crush list.
Natasha Leggero: I see a lot of stand-up comedy, and Natasha is by far the foxiest lady I’ve seen pick up a mic. She almost always favors heels to augment her stature (she barely tops five feet), has incredible hair, and when she smiles a set of dimples grace her face that almost make her too cute. Her jokes are quite good as well, as evidenced by this appearance on Jay Leno. More recently, she made this funny little short film, which I hope will be an ongoing series.
Rashida Jones: Aside from Joanna, I think this one may be the most obvious on my list. I know it certainly is for any viewers of “The Office,” on which Rashida plays Karen Filipelli. As many may know, Rashida is the daughter of Peggy Lipton, she of “Twin Peaks” and a total babe in her own right, and “flashes of” Quincy Jones. In addition to being a Harvard graduate, Rashida has also appeared on “Freaks and Geeks” and the pilot episode of “Stella.” Try watching this saccharinely sweet video and see if you can help from falling for her. I know I’ve certainly switched my allegiance from Pam to Karen as a result of Rashida’s performance on “The Office.”
Eva Green: I came very late to the party that is French actress Eva Green. I wasn’t aware of how awesome she was until I saw the surprisingly superb Casino Royale. A friend had long ago suggested I watch some scenes from the Bertolucci nudiefest known as The Dreamers, but my hatred of co-star Michael Pitt was so strong that the thought of seeing his upturned nose, petulant glare, and lackluster Leonardo DiCaprio impression was too much to bear. So I missed viewing her pendulous breasts in all their unfettered glory. I have since corrected that mistake, and the image of Eva’s nude body is well worth the price of Pitt’s horrific, nightmare-inducing visage.
Also, I was going to include a few time specific examples, such as pre-baby Maggie Gyllenhaal, Guffman-era Parker Posey, and Diane Keaton in her Annie Hall days, but decided to stick to current crushes. Anyway, I’m curious, who do you guys like?
