If you’ve already stumbled across the absolutely horrific/amazing car crash of plastic beauties and the worst dudes ever, known as hotchickswithdouchebags.com, then I imagine some of the following images will not be new to you. If you’re not famliar with the site, then be prepared to have your corneas scarred for all eternity. I spent some quality time with the site yesterday, and laughed more than I have in a long time.

The concept is that people wade through the muck and mire of myspace, facebook, and other photo sites in search of the greasiest, nastiest, most mind melting douche bags, juxtaposed alongside sexy, scantily clad, heavily made up ladies and send the photos to the site’s editor, who posts the photos with his commentary. The editor’s idea of “hot chick” seriously differs from mine, though his radar for douche bags is second to none. Over the brief period of the site’s life, he has developed a stringent set of rules that define a douche bag, and has single-handedly introduced a new nomenclature to classify the different douches.

This is Cro-’bagnon, who inspired a rash of haikus from readers, my favorite being from The Douche of Earl:
No fake ‘n bake, that.
Mandana usurped by gel.
Love your geico ads.

Pictures go up constantly, and an increasingly growing number of readers and commenters have joined the HCwDB democratic society, helping to name the douchebag, his arm candy, and pointing out what makes the photo particularly douchey. Each week a vote is made, and a douche is elevated to the status of “Douche Bag of the Week.” At the end of the month all the ‘bags are pitted against each other, and a new “Douche Bag of the Month” is crowned.

Here’s Donkey Douche. His purple lips, absurdly orange skin, open necked shirt complete with fake dog tags, and ludicrous tough face made him a popular favorite from his first appearance. He ascended quickly from ‘bag of the week to ‘bag of the month, crescendoing with a coveted position in The Douchebag Hall of Fame.

“Warthog” is a personal favorite of mine, though he was never able to crack ‘bag of the week status, despite possessing many classic hallmarks of the douche bag. Check the Jesus bling, mandana, guyliner, bleached hair, orange skin and shiny shirt. He’s got everything going for him.

These two, like The Warthog before them, did not go far, but I find them to be particularly hilarious. Seriously, just look at those faces. The greasy dude on the right has by far the most amazing set of follicles and plugs I saw on the whole site, and the rock horns of his companion speak volumes.

And then there was The Trainwreck, the douche that everyone could agree on.

Words cannot do this man justice.

So instead I’m going to give the last word to someone who I believe is a true “hot chick,” Joanna Newsom. Joanna, what do you make of all this?

This entry was posted on Thursday, September 27th, 2007 at 4:54 pm and is filed under general, photos. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.