“I know this is going to sound strange,” the email began, “but is the story about Jared you posted seriously true? I worry since a friend of mine and I are supposed to meet him.”

She went on, “He said he’d get us into a venue since we are his ‘friends.’ If he really did that, I’d rather not go out there and deal with him.”

The “Jared” she was referring to was Jared Leto. The “story” in question was an essay I wrote detailing an encounter Leto had with a friend of a friend. And “she,” I discovered after a myspace search, was a 17-year-old girl who loved Leto and his band, 30 Seconds To Mars.

“Yes,” I wrote back, “the story is true.”

The Story

Originally written for the now defunct website otherpeoplesstories.com, the essay detailed events a friend of mine told me happened to a friend of hers.

Basically Jared Leto, coasting on the goodwill generated from his preternatural ability to lean and pen odes to automobiles on “My So Called Life,” came to town with his band, acted like the uber-douche that he is, and, prior to coitus, gave the friend of a friend the choice of calling him “Jared” or “daddy.”

Months passed after the encounter and she became obsessed with him, but he never called. Then late one night her roommate answered the phone and heard a drunken voice talking about erect penises. After explaining who she was, the voice apologized and said, “Oh sorry. Could you tell her Jared called?”

He never called again.

The Response

Shortly after posting the story to my website, I began to notice a spike in visitors coming from a message board called “Jared’s Place.” After registering an account, I was able to read the thread dedicated to my essay. There were a variety of responses.

Many expressed doubt that Jared was capable of such actions and pointed to the vegan talk from Jared as a sign that it was all made up. (At that point in time Leto had not publicly identified himself as a vegan. He would later go on to record PSAs for PETA). Others posited that an angry former fan, no doubt rebuffed by Jared, had mixed fact and fiction. But the vast majority of the fans didn’t care if the story was true or not, and got caught up in a heated debate of whether Jared or “Daddy” was appropriate.

“Daddy is just gross,” LetosGuRL87 wrote, “I’ve gotta go with Jared.”

An official moderator deleted the post after it ballooned to three pages. But shortly thereafter it was resurrected and the debate began anew, “Jared” or “Daddy”?

I assumed that the interest would eventually die out. But not only did it not die, it crossed international waters.

“Mad funny story about how Jared ‘bad,’” was the translation for a link I found on a Russian message board.

Apparently the Japanese were interested in Jared’s sexual proclivities as well, because I started getting hits from the land of the rising sun.

As it got more and more visitors, I began to feel an air of nobility envelope me. There I was, out there fighting the good fight, riding my electronic steed through the village, calling out to the townspeople that they should batten the hatches, lock their daughters up, and make sure the chastity belts were securely fastened, for The Jared of Leto was fast approaching. And he was bringing with him an unruly band of mascara-ed men who were dead set on soiling the women of the land, as well as the ears of the towns folk with their accursed “music.”

My Response

While I found it commendable that the young lady did her research, I was also a bit scared that she could not see where Jared was heading with his interest in her and her friend. I told her to exercise caution with the minuscule rocker and not do anything she didn’t feel comfortable with (because I wear a sweater and care about children).

She replied:
“I see.. its an 18+ private party, and I was a bit leery since he dates a lot of girls my age… (18 to 20 ish) and it just seemed weird when he asked me as a photographer, and a friend of mine, but said he couldn’t get any parents or siblings, etc in, One person per band member… Thanks for the reply, this seems pretty fishy now.”

So, sorry Jared Leto. You mercilessly toyed with the feelings of bitchin’ chick Angela Chase, made god awful music while looking like a gothic raccoon, and preyed upon innumerous impressionable fans, but thou shalt not be giving high school age girls the choice of Jared or Daddy. No sir, not on my watch.