Recently my friend Dan told me he wanted to edit a trailer of “The Bucket List” and change around the story a bit. I wasn’t optimistic it could be done, but he didn’t take “wasn’t optimistic it could be done” for an answer. So we got together and made this:

If Jackie Stallone isn’t in your life yet, I recommend reading Eliot’s guide (which includes many more photos), then watching this video, which was my first introduction to the human equivalent of a car wreck that is Jackie Stallone. In the video, Jackie Stallone details her patented “rumpology,” which is the reading of ass auras. She deigns not to explain her powers, but when you’re the person that brought Frank Stallone into the world, a certain amount of leeway must be given.

Recently, Chelsea Peretti, one third of the comedienne coven variety shac, started a series on superdeluxe exploring her failed relationships called “All My Exes,” that, after two episodes, is now one of my favorites. I highly recommend watching these (nsfw language).

Have you ever wondered what happens when you find a stranger in the alps? Apparently the answer is that a crazed, obese, Vietnam vet will come to your house, shout in your face, and then, after procuring a crow bar, he will beat the shit out of your neighbor’s new car.

Last night I watched an “exhausted” Paula Abdul throw a hissy fit after her two incredibly incompetent assistants were unable to produce a pair of sweat pants and white shoes for her on the mind-blowing premiere of “Hey Paula.” I would enumerate all the amazing behavior, but Slut Machine has already done so, complete with a montage of all of Paula’s best wasted moments. Check it out.

And then there’s this video.

I’ve gotta give these guys their proppers for taking a misogynistic, lustful ode to women with ample backsides, and turning it into a worshipful, chaste ode to women with ample, hardback bibles.

This is a parody of this video, which is equally amazing. I saw both of these ladies last night as they treated Los Angeles to a version of their New York show, Obsessed. They interviewed Tommy Wiseau, a vaguely European-ish man, who has a lazy eye, amazing hair, and who wrote, directed, and starred in a film called The Room. Below are a couple of scenes from the film.

I love the adr in this scene so much.

And lastly another episode of The Michael Showalter Showalter.

It has begun.

It’s that time again.

First up we have one of my favorite segments from the recently concluded This American Life TV show, in which beloved cartoonist Chris Ware illustrates an interesting story about a group of school children whose world is turned upside down after one of them makes a fake camera.

The ad council cut together a series of spots meant to highlight the dangers of…blogging, and this is the result. I like to think that a rotund high school football coach, Dan Clowes-looking movie usher, and a tattooed busboy would really read the missives of a seemingly shy high schooler, but I just don’t buy the ad council’s ad. Via my favorite Dane Cook and Zach Braff hater.

This parody of To Catch a Predator (one of my favorite shows) is from one of my favorite shows (Human Giant). They get everything right: the odd confidence and suggestive banter of the predator (played brilliantly by “Wet Hot American Summer’s” H. Jon Benjamin), the young K.D. Lang-looking, backwards hat-wearing, gender-neutral jail bait, and the smug, accusatory tone of the host (complete with transcripts of the explicit talk). Plus, any video with the line “hardabs05″ is in my good book.

As long as he keeps making ‘em, I’ll keep posting ‘em. Paul Rudd. ‘Nuff said.

In a scant 58 seconds, “Law and Order’s” Richard “The Belz” Belzer is able to lampoon nearly every aspect of the TV show “House” that makes it so preposterous: the herky-jerky cane enabled gait, the incessant pill popping, the enigmatic advice, and the fact that Dr. House is such a staunch (s-t-a-u-n-c-h) character. Plus, his reading of the line “nice!” is absolutely perfect.

This video is from comedy collective Human Giant, which is comprised of members Rob “inconsiderate cell phone guy” Huebel, Aziz “way too funny for his age” Ansari, and Paul “the other gap-toothed guy on Best Week Ever” Scheer. Look for this show to blow up considerably once it airs on MTV next month.

This video comes courtesy of my friend Eliot, and features the dynamic duo of Henry Winkler and The Fonz, as well as an incredibly scary kid’s singer who wishes to correct all children’s misuse of the word “vagina.” My favorite part is the hilariously specific Fonzie threat of “running over your knees with my bike.”

And this video is via mi amigo Morton, who is a garbageman. Years ago when the voiceover guy was recording a track for this union video, he decided to record an alternate, profanity-laden, little-old-lady-from-Florida-hatin’, full-on New Yauk style voiceover. Some of the language may not be appropriate for work.

I have decided that I will periodically collect some of the videos that I’ve been enjoying in one post. This will probably be a new weekly thing, until I get too lazy.

First up is episode two of The Michael Showalter Showalter, featuring Show’s long time friend, and, according to the interview, the exceptionally long-dicked, Michael Ian Black.

Next we have a very recent and candid interview with David Cross about a myriad of topics, including his dog, his work schedule, and the demise of “Arrested Development.”

And lastly we have “Welcome to My Home,” a decades old video starring former “Young and the Restless Star,” and current plastic surgery victim, Brenda Dickson (seriously, check out her site. It looks just like geocities, but without the ads). This one is a total mind-blower. Dickson invites the viewer into her home and gives “glamour secrets.”

I just spent the last forty five minutes searching the google for a screen capture of an obese, drugged-to-the-gills, Anna Nicole Smith, Howard K. Stern, her currently beleaguered and oft-cuckolded attorney, and her personal assistant/sometime make-out partner, Kim Walther, beating the shit out of a bed frame.

This fantastic and frightening tableaux was captured by E!’s cameras in 2002 for the regrettably short-lived “The Anna Nicole Show,” and will remain seared in my brain as the lasting image I have of Anna.

The best part is that the reason her attorney gleefully stabbed the bed with a screwdriver and she and her assistant kicked the frame to pieces, was because some throw pillows, also made by the bed’s designer, Bobby Trendy, were-wait for it-not washable. The unlaunderable pillows pushed Anna, who was already angry with Trendy for a litany of reasons, over the edge. She decided the best way to take out her aggression was to desecrate the largest, and presumably most expensive, item Trendy had produced for her.

“The Anna Nicole Show” captured so many mind-blowing and hilarious moments that it not only redefined Anna for me, but also opened my eyes to the enjoyment reality TV could provide.

I did find a full episode on youtube, though sadly not the one featuring the bed destruction. Above is part one, and here’s two and three.

After seeing a single episode, Anna went from being a svelte, sexy blonde, who actually showed some acting promise in her brief cameo in Hudsucker’s Proxy, to a pilled up, self-described “porker,” who had surrounded herself with a motley group of odd characters that were all, to varying degrees, desperately in love with her.

Smith in 1993. Later that year she would be crowned Playmate of the Year.

Kimberly Walther, Smith’s personal assistant, displays her Anna tattoo during “The Anna Nicole Show” years.

After two seasons it became painfully obvious that the show’s producers had run out of hoops for Anna to jump through (such as renewing her driver’s license, going on radio shows, and taking her dog to a psychic), and the waning ratings led to cancellation. For me, that’s when Anna stops.

I had decided that I was not going to pay any attention to the media circus surrounding her death, but last night I caught a video on Countdown with Keith Olbermann that, much in the same way Anna did, totally blew my mind.

Please allow me to introduce the man conducting the trial regarding who gets Smith’s body, Judge Larry Seidlin, proud graduate of Brooklyn’s Hunter College, and King of the Non Sequiturs.

This dude’s amazing. His courtroom demeanor, appearance, and constant quips bring to mind a younger, less funny, Larry David. Here’s just a few of the quotes he let fly in court:

“I jogged almost four miles this morning—my head’s as clear as a bell.”

“Let’s face it. Money is the root of all evil. Am I right?”

“Don’t use that term. It turns me off.”

“The wheels of justice aren’t always round, they’re sometimes square. It’s like the Old West. It’s a bumpy ride.”

Anna, I will miss you. Thanks for all the memories and for bringing Larry Seidlin into my life. We will meet someday on the rainbow bridge.